Where Culture and Child Development Find Meaning:
How does one child react to this culture as compared to the other child within this same culture? One child may find the daily routine of the American cultural tradition of daycare to be invigorating, affecting the life beyond childhood and into an adulthood of active involvement in community. Another child, in the same daily routine, may find it overwhelming and grow up to avoid exposure to large groups, preferring a life path more secluded.

Culture and child development takes on meaning where it intersects with the degrees of sensitivity within each child. Within culture, we find the significance of the child’s unique reaction to the culture of daily life and from that reaction is the influence on development.

Landmark Influences Common to All Cultures:
What is commonly experienced and can be identified as consistently influential in every life? While we cannot determine how each child will react to cultural influences, it is critical that the most important influences be identified in order to give children the best opportunities to thrive.

Studies and, plain observation itself, suggest three landmark influences prominent in the dynamics of culture and child development:

1. Security
2. Education
3. Socialization

There’s no denying the fact that the physical and social surroundings of a child’s daily world create or destroy the atmosphere of security. Cultural styles will directly influence just how much a child feels secure, molding the development of that internal security needful to venture out into life. To say a domino effect flows from the one level of either security or insecurity is to understate. Essentially, of all the possible cultural influences on child development, it is important to identify what will foster security.

From the influence of security a child moves forward into the world of education. Educational resources within any given culture will mold the development of a child powerfully by either broadening or narrowing the fields of possibility for that one life, weaving together with either a secure or insecure worldview. Obviously, where the culture upholds the value of education, the child develops more broadly and with more possibilities to prosper on every level.

From these influences and within them are the workings of socialization. Socialization is simply the integration into society as either a positive experience perpetuating healthy, balanced living or some variety of struggling to integrate, to sustain a thriving life.

Caretakers can hold to the consistent work of safeguarding security, of education and of socialization in order to help children develop appropriately. In the final analysis, culture and child development narrows itself down to the intimacy in relationships between caretakers and children, an intimacy that nurtures the best of security, education and socialization no matter the cultural tide.

Statistically, this leads to the proverbial troubled teen who has little chance of becoming a happy, well-adjusted adult with any parenting skills themselves. The adults in their lives wonder abput parenting a troubled teen. Most teens who are classified as troubled are suffering from more complex problems than those that plague the normal teenager in today’s society. Teenagers today suffer from peer pressure, angst over the push to have sex, the outcome of sexual relations, drug use, and other related issues. However, there can also be underlying and overlaying problems. Some of which can be abusive relationships at home or school, drug abuse problems, or even violent neighborhoods. They could also be dealing with physical and mental issues such as, ADD, ADHD, juvenile diabetes, and others. They may have parents or other family members that are also suffering.

When parenting a troubled teen, parents need to understand that the way to deal with teenagers that are having difficulties is to simply pay attention and be available for them to talk to and confide in. It seems so easy as our children grow up to simply push them away and take care of the more pressing issues at hand. However, as the troubles manifest themselves into behavior and other problems, we, as parents, want to place blame in other areas or question what happened. Some of the warning signs that parents need to be aware of are:

1. dropping grades

2. mood swings

3. loss in interest in previous activities

4. keeping secrets and lying

5. changing their friend group

6. spending more time alone and/or sleeping.

These are signs that a child may need help. Sometimes this may involve a professional. When parenting a troubled teen, parents should not be ashamed of the need for help with their child. Sometimes seeking help is the most honest way to show their child that they love them. The main thing that parents can do to guide their children, at any age, is to pay attention to them. Pay attention to their mannerisms, their friends, their attitudes, and the way they deal with everyday stressors. Know your child and this will be the key when parenting a troubled teen. By noticing that there is a problem, you are then in a more clear place to handle the situation.

There are lots of parenting books and magazines available but most of these are not very helpful. Often the situations described in these are very different from the ones you will face in your own life. However in some cases these articles can help you by teaching certain ways to approach common situations.

Parents should know that providing support to their children is very important. This can mean simple things like giving a child encouragement or praise or just paying attention to what they are saying.

A good parent will also need to spend enough time with his or her children. Remember you will not get a second chance at experience your children´s childhood. Children grow up very fast, make the best of the time you have with them.

Being a good parent does not happen overnight. It requires lots of experience and practice. Usually parents will use a similar approach to parenting as the one they learned from their own parents. This, of course, can be either good or bad.

In the end good parenting comes down to experience, patience and acting on the love you feel for your children.

Author: Jack Flinters

The times have made everything faster, with new things seemingly coming about daily. One good word of advice is keep up on it. Your children will. It’s good to watch for things that can be troublesome, and be prepared. And then there are those things that you can see will be good, and then attempt to encourage it into your family. You do have to improve on and revise what you already know not only at the beginning, but nearly every stage along the way to the end. One day you may yourself be giving your children parenting advice in addition to what they have observed their whole lives.

One bit of parenting advice that will indeed help you stay on top of things is paying a lot of attention to the details in your child(ren)’s lives. What excites them during the commercials between their favorite cartoons (or shows a few years later)? Watching these trends will give you a lot to seek when you are browsing the web. You can also identify possible problem areas at the same time and work to prevent them.

You will also want to know as much as possible about the times in terms of those that would pray on your child(ren). These threats are all around yet now more than ever you can often identify where they are, as well as get a better idea on what to be on the lookout for. You need to do your best to protect your child(ren) from these sorts as they can cause injuries that span a lifetime well beyond any physical threat.

Parenting advice that probably doesn’t need to be mentioned as much is to always be watching for signs. Drastic changes in your child(ren) in a short time that last more than a day or 2 should be a reason for serious alert. With all the threats that we are now aware of against our children with the above in mind add what peer pressure can bring them; you need to catch it if it happens or shortly after. Keep in mind that most of these threats are found more in everyday life than online, though the internet does offer potential problems as well.

One area of good advice that is too easy to forget is allowing your children to vegetate on any one thing. Whether it is TV, games, radio, or anything else; if it’s the whole and not balanced in with a lot of other life, it will leave them unprepared for the world. Even too much study and not enough time outside can have this effect.

Children need much input along the way to becoming adults, and it needs to come along ahead of time. The input comes from being alone, in crowds, and nearly any other point between them. It’s what they will eventually be making their own life decisions from. Extreme socializing or isolation can be negative in your child(ren)’s development; especially if it’s all in fantastic settings. It’s good to make sure to strike a balance of everything life has to offer.

Some of the better advice at anything, especially parenting, is to lead by example. If you expect your children to be polite, do so yourself and you will find they follow your example a lot. Children will generally pay a lot more attention to the details of your life than you can of theirs. They aren’t loaded down with the weight of the whole picture yet, and have plenty of time to see that you are.

In the end, you may find a lot of parenting advice; however what makes you the best parent(s) is learning as you go, and growing with your children. Spending life growing with your future generations will bring you many memories to share with them, and them you!

Author: Andy Green

Yes those were the dark old days and now that we’ve been thoroughly enlightened, what comes next, I wonder? Maybe parents will get so worn out and confused traipsing through the minefield of parenting advice that some guru will come to our rescue with a way to parent that doesn’t actually include dealing with the kids. A robot perhaps, that we can program up front to respond to our own child’s inner whims before he even knows he’s got them. Well that would fit with our society, wouldn’t it? I mean, who wants to wait for something? Far better that we get what we want before we even know we want it. Oops, I see a problem on the horizon with the robot idea. The good news is I can spot the problem, which must mean I’m a visionary but the bad news is, I can’t program the DVD player, let alone a robot.

Ok, so what is a parent to do when faced with all this often conflicting parenting advice? Now, I’m going to suggest something really amazing here. A parenting plan that will have you singing in the aisles. Something that I could definitely put on the market for three easy payments of $29.95. What is it you ask? Here it comes…..guts. Yes, that’s it. Gut instinct. And I mean it in both senses of the word. Having the guts to follow through on tough decisions and listening, really listening to your gut instinct. Humans, aka homo sapiens, have been on this planet for some hundred and sixty thousand years and it’s only in the last few, that so many people have become lost in a maze of confusion when it comes to the kids.

So parents, put down those advice books or if you must delve for knowledge at least stick to one and instead listen to your instincts. They are there, I promise. Deep down that little voice drones on and on and all you need to do is turn up the volume. Does that mean that you’ll never have questions or want to seek advice? Of course not, but it will certainly help you become more grounded and when Junior reaches for the chocolate bar in the Safeway, you’ll know just what to say. And as for me, I’ll just keep looking for a book deal and TV spot!

Author: Annie Lussenburg

By keeping in mind that teenagers are exactly the same as anyone else who may be going through a difficult transition period, parenting becomes easier. After all, if you assume and that your teens are “from another world,” then a right off the bat you’re going to have a more difficult time dealing with them. So let’s discuss the most effective ways to deal with teenagers going through this transition stage.

The first and best parenting advice for those with teenagers is this: talk to your teens as much as possible. This point cannot be overstated; you should talk to your teenager about anything and everything as often as you can. Even controversial subjects or sensitive issues like sexuality, politics, tolerance, drug use, and alcohol are all fair game.

Keep in mind though, that the idea here is to simply talk to your teen, not to “preach” at them about these issues. Why is this important? Really, it’s just basic psychology; if you preach to your teenagers in absolute terms, they are likely to rebel or become argumentative. It is strange that so many parents make this mistake, because they would never “preach” to their friends or other adults in this way.

And this is really the second point to keep in mind. You should speak to your teenagers as you would speak to anyone else. This doesn’t mean that you have to coddle your teens — after all, you would not coddle a friend or acquaintance. But it does mean that you should be civil and respecting of their different points of view, just as you would with a co-worker, friend or someone you had just met.

The best parenting advice about talking to teenagers boils down to this: talk to them in the same way that you would talk to anyone else. If your neighbor Fred would object to a barrage of personal questions, or being “preached at” on subjects of morality, religion, or ethics, then you can bet your last dollar that your teen will also object to being spoken to in this way.

Besides talking to your teen often and non-judgmentally, the most important advice for connecting with them is to listen. True listening is somewhat of a rarity in our society, and it requires not just hearing the words, but taking time to process the other person’s point of view and attempting to gain a real understanding of their position.

Think about it this way, you probably enjoy talking to friends or coworkers who are good listeners, right? Well guess what? So does your teen! Your teenager will be naturally drawn toward communicating with you on a wide variety of issues if you have proven yourself to be a good listener. Additionally, by doing so you are also teaching your teen by example, and it is much more likely that they will grow up to the good listeners as well.

The best parenting advice usually comes down to basic common sense, and by communicating with your teen using the same respect you would give anyone else, you will gain their trust and understanding.

Author: Craig Thornburrow

We are all different, every child as well as every parent. With this in mind, you should choose your sources for parenting advice carefully keeping your child’s needs, your family’s needs and your needs in sight. The best thing you can do is review all the solutions to find what may work for you. It may involve some trial and error at first, but you can find parenting resources that are right for you.

There are some basic parenting tips that apply to most any situation and most families. You may want to start here.

Tell your children that you love them. Don’t just buy them things and hope that they get the message. “Stuff” does not replace the love of a parent. Tell them and show them with lots of hugs.

Get involved in your children’s lives. Know where they go, who they go with, what they do. Know their friends, know what they like and dislike. Attend their concerts, sporting event, plays and other activities. Show your children that you are interested in them.

Get your children involved in family discussions. Allow them to offer input on family decisions, help find solutions to family problems and offer suggestions for family activities and rules. This will make you child feel like a valued family member and increase their self esteem.

Don’t fall into the “because I said so” or “because I am the parent” trap. Explain to your children why you set certain rules or make certain decisions. This will allow your children to understand and they will be more likely to comply. It will also aid them in developing their own reasoning skills.

Actively participate in activities with your children that extend outside of the home. Go places with them, have family nights which may involve dinner and a movie. Also, schedule some one-on-one time with each child. This will enrich your relationship with your children and is a great esteem builder for the child.

Watch how you phrase your directions to your children. Don’t ask, tell. There are ways to handle giving directions that don’t make you sound like a dictator, bossing them to “do this” and “do that.” You should begin your instruction in such as way that is firm but not offensive. Instead of “take out the trash,” try, “Jimmy, I need you to take out the trash before you go outside, please.” You have instructed what must be done, set a boundary and said please. The child feels more respected. And don’t forget to say thank you when he does the task per your specifications. If he does it, but it was done poorly or he missed something, deliver the criticism using the “sandwich method.” Begin with something positive about the job he did, “You took out the trash in the kitchen and even picked up the trash that had fallen on the floor. Thanks!” Follow that with the criticism, “But I needed you to get the trash in the bathroom as well. Go ahead and grab that now, please.” Then follow with another positive comment, “I really appreciate that you are so cooperative when I ask you to do something.” It is an old management technique that works great with kids.

Network with other parents and you will likely be surprised to find that they too share many of your joys and frustrations as a parent with their own children. Other parents can be great parenting resources and can direct you to parenting books, videos or other resources to help you become a better parent.

Author: Kristin Johnsson

That’s what I find myself wanting to say (yell, scream) at my two boys sometimes when they keep asking me the same question over and over again. With the older one, it is usually about something he wants to buy (as in me buy for him) at Wal-Mart or Target. With the younger one, it is usually about something he wants to do or to eat that for very good reasons (to an adult) he cannot do at that moment.

Some of this is natural and is just want kids too, and as adults we do it too.

If I am really honest, I know that one of the reasons they keep asking is that every now and then I will give in and say yes. I know that giving in only reinforces the repeated questions, and teaches them that all they have to do is keep asking until I give in. This is the part that really frustrates me and makes me mad at myself.

I mean, as a parenting coach and marriage and family therapist, I give parenting advice and coaching for a living.

Author: Jeff Herring

First and foremost you have to consider that we are talking about teenagers and even when we were at that age we had our views and would tend to do it our way no matter what. There are still some ways though to get your advice across without making it look like you are trying to control their lives. Teens by nature are harder to get through as independence is one thing they all want. The main thing that teenage parents want to do is express them. Letting them have their say is critical for an open dialogue. Listen to what they have before expressing your advice to them. They will be more receptive if they get to go first and state what they think. They won’t feel forced and will be more willing to listen.

Set ground rules that are fair and flexible as a parent. Their maybe times that you will need to change the rules so don’t ever etch anything in stone. If you do than it could because you more trouble than it’s actually worth. Always make sure your teen knows that you mean business or they will just try to bend the rules because you’re their parent. Teenage parenting can be a very stressful time and that is something that you must remember when making the groundwork for rules.

Look for signs of behavior that isn’t normal. Teenage parenting can be a very hard time and many young adults will turn to drugs and alcohol as a way to cope with the issues of being a teen parent. If you do encounter these problems getting professional help as quickly as possible is always best. Teenage parenting can be overwhelming at times and the pressures of everyday life of a teenager just make it that much tougher. Support is the key here if they follow down that path.

There are many keys to teenage parenting and each situation is different and what may work for one won’t work for others. Each parent has to look at what is going around than and make the right decision for their teenage children. In the beginning most teenage children will rebel as its just human nature. Giving good advice to teenage parents can sometimes be tough and it can take a toll on you physically and mentally. Teenage parenting is tough and many times you may have to change things more than you want. Always remember teenage parents have feelings too and you must consider that before any decision is made and always keep them and your interest in mind.

Author: Jeffrey Meier